It seems as of late, I’ve become a bit of a facebook junkie.  I blame the recession for my new heroin like Internet addiction.  With a slow down in the economy, I’m forced to find ways to entertain myself  to fill up my non-billable office face time.  So, one day when I was on facebook I saw an ad for a site called something like meetlatinopeople.com and I thought, hmm…I do love South Americans, Latins are romantic, and I do need to start something in the pipeline for Valentine’s Day since that chubby arrow carrying bastard seems to have missed archery shooting practice the last few years when it comes to me (thanks a lot Cupid).   And although I’ve dipped my toe into the match.com and eharmony dating pools on occasion those sites are dead to me.  So, I wondered if it would be kosher for me to sign up or if that would be the equivalent of a goy infiltrating Jdate.

I jokingly passed the site onto a few friends and asked for their input.  One of my girlfriends from the DC area encouraged me to go onto USmilitarysingle.com as “US MilitarySingles is where the real action is because the ratio of men to women is off the hook.”  As much as I love a man in uniform, I’ve had enough long distance relationships to last me the rest of ma vida.   I asked a married guy friend of mine who couldn’t get enough of the latinas back in his single days and loved to be called “papi” by his, um, lady friends for his opinion.  His first response was “wow-if that sight was up when I was single, I would’ve been on it! You should go for it!” 

So for giggles I decided to check it out.  I made a fake profile, i.e.,  just enough of one to allow me to browse the members.  Oy veh.   Where do I begin?  Como se dice, the site is mega B&T.  Where were the caliente Argentinian and Chilean men?  The guapo Cubanos and Colombianos?   Evidently still in South America.   And P.S. I wasn’t the only gringo/gringa on there trolling for hot latins.  Quelle suprise!  I question the ethnic background of those guys who claimed to be of “mixed race,” because they were mas blanco than I am so I decided that “mixed race” is code for white.  

One of my favorite cheesy ones was by a guy who claimed to be a doctor, but had one too many buttons undone on his shirt (btw, not sure which is worse…exposed chest shirt guy or naked picture guy,  you know the ones where a guy is in his boxers showing off his “awesome bod” by taking a picture of his reflection in a bathroom mirror).   Somehow I’d love to tell guys like that to “button it up paco, if we want to know what’s under there, we know how to find out, no need to flaunt it for us or draw us a map!”   Another favorite of mine was by a guy who must’ve been using a tripod on a timer to take his picture because he was taking pictures in front of a bed where someone else was sleeping!  I could tell that he was using  time delay because the person who was asleep had changed sleeping positions.  C.R.E.E.P.Y.!  My all time favorite though was the drag queen’s profile.   I think that one is pretty self-explanatory.

Needless to say, if I want Latin love then I’ll either book a flight to South America or Miami or at the very least listen to a Juanes C.D.

Tags: Argentina, Argentinian, Chile, Chilean, Colombian, Colombianos, Cuban, Cubano, facebook, internet dating, latin, latin love, manhattan blog, onlie, single

This entry was posted on Friday, January 9th, 2009 at 2:31 pm and is filed under I heart New York. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.